Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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