Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Ha

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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