What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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what do you call a black man named mike

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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