Knock Knock It's Open!

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

42

Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

Whats worst than getting screwed. Your mother

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

Sit on Santas lap Boner

Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

What would you rather do or drag a board?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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