What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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