Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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MICHAEL

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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kiss me?

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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