Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Cows go moo.

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Women's rights

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops