So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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hey.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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alert("The Game");//

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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