roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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What time is it? 10:58

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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weiner? balls

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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whats long and black? a baton

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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Chuck Norris.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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K

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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