A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's the point? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's 5+7? Piccillo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops