Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops