What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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The 19th Amendment

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Barack Obama

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Chuck Norris

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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