Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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