why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Nathan Gooderson.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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