i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Bumsniffer

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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9/11/2001

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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