How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A man walks into a bar.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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