ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there My dick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops