- Anti Joke

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

German sausage is the wurst

Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

Guess what? What? Nothing.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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