Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Womens rights.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Obama is a good president.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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