- Anti Joke

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

World peace

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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