Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

thumb_up thumb_down +10

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, we're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops