How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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WNBA

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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hi

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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a little girl gets raped

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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minced oaths

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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