What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

A van drives into a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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