How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Kittens.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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potatoes

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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