- Anti Joke

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

A man farted. Another man walked away.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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