What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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World peace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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