Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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World peace

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Jake Bowar

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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It's your mother, open the door.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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:-)book

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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