How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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