I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Don't rape me!

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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beiber i straight

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Please don't rape me.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Penis jokes.

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Write your own

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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