An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

A baby seal walks into a club...

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

Tim's gay.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

lewis bedford

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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