What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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A man. That is all.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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DANA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Gadaffi

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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Obama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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