What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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i hate you.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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