Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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Please don't rape me.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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ollie is a fag so are you

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Did you know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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