When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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There is a car full of black people.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Why Because

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops