What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Hi colton

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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