How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Icecream

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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96

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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