What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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69

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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