How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Justin Bieber

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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