what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops