Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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