Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

knock knock whos there .. derp

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

The WNBA.

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

gays

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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