What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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