Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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