What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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