One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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