Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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