How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops