What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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