A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

So this blonde walks into a library.

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

Five guys one rape.

21

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

the cow goes moo

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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