How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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