- Anti Joke

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Knock knock Fuck off!

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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