I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

marble

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +55

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +51

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Black Poeple

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops